98% Excited, 2% Scared

I love the following quote from the movie, Armageddon.  It takes place while Oscar  (Owen Wilson) is being strapped into the shuttle by the NASA tech, talking to  Rockhound (Steve Buscemi).

“Great, I got that “excited/scared” feeling. Like 98% excited, 2% scared. Or maybe it’s more – It could be two – it could be 98% scared, 2% excited but that’s what makes it so intense, it’s so – confused. I can’t really figure it out.”

That’s how I felt after accepting my position.  There was very little room for negotiation in this particular position due to the nature of the funding (grants primarily) so other things like vacation, benefits, office space, technology, etc… were relatively easy to negotiate.  My immediate supervisor knew (and has verbalized) that since he couldn’t offer me more money, he was going to provide me with as many other ‘perks’ as possible. I also knew I had bills to pay that included a small mountain of student loans.  I appreciated knowing that he recognized that and has been able to accommodate me with those things and some others. That’s for another post.

I will be honest, I am so grateful and appreciative to have a job offer. Period.  I know the economy is in the dump still, I know funding is going away every minute I type, so for me, it was a ‘win’ alone.  No one is more sorry than I am when I hear about colleagues who still have not found permanent work who are all smart, qualified, and more than capable.  I am so thankful.

Back to the scared/excited though….

I had what I would call an ‘easy transition’ from one job to the other.  My former dept. head was more than gracious, very understanding, and flexible with me.  With the exception of a few journal articles and other pieces of research, I was portable and movable in only a few weeks.  The day before my new post began, my new boss had emailed me a list of things to discuss at our first day meeting. While the anticipation was building, I was thankful that he was a bit like me in that respect. When I interviewed, I sat through it and thought, “I can do this. It would be really fun. It would be a great experience for me.”  I had made my own mental list of things to ask and things to ask later after the job got going.

Like a kid on the first day of school, I got up for my first day of my new job, did my morning routine, packed my lunch, and was out the door with coffee in hand.  As I walked to my new office and to meet my new colleagues, I was NERVOUS. Omigosh, that hadn’t happened in quite a while. In the back of my mind and by the nature of my personality, I also thought, “I’m going to rock this b&%h to prove myself, so let’s get going!”  (also another post)  So, like Oscar and Rockhound from the movie, I was 98% excited, 2% scared. Or wait, maybe it was 98% scared, 2% excited….Looking back, it was the first and so far, it’s still a lot of fun.

*disclaimer: everyone will be referred to in a masculine “he” form or given a gender neutral name. it’s the researcher in me, i just can’t help it…..*

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5 thoughts on “98% Excited, 2% Scared

  1. neurovantage says:

    The tenure track position is incredibly more stressful than what you’re doing now; at least that’s what I hear. I think having a good mentor, for your developing years, is soooo important. Sounds like you have a great handle on what you’re planning to do, something I’m still trying to figure out.


  2. neurovantage says:

    It’s up, check out my post “Genius Enough”….

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